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afrogeekgoddess:

spuzz:

afrogeekgoddess:

barafundlebay:

#i don’t understand why no one is talking about this. #the way that john looks over his shoulder to make sure that mrs. hudson is far enough away that he can finally let it all out. #john has to be alone when he finally talks about how he’s feeling. #because she doesn’t get it. #as much as mrs. hudson hurts #and she does hurt. #as much as mycroft hurts #and he does hurt. #none of them feel the way that john does. #john knows sherlock for real. #sherlock was the one thing anchoring john. #the one thing that brought him back from being lost after afghanistan. #the one thing that healed his limp. #the only person who understood all the twisted messed up thoughts that he has. #and now as far as he knows sherlock is gone. #and it cuts him so deeply that he can’t even talk about it when anyone else is around. #‘’say it now’’ his therapist says. #but he can’t. #he can’t. #because nobody gets it. #sherlock didn’t mean to anyone what he meant to john. #and it’s raw and hurting and dammit that pain is the one thing he has left to remind him of how much sherlock meant. #to remind him that what he felt was real. #and he can’t share it. #not with mrs. hudson. #not with anyone.

The thing that kills me about this moment is that even when John lets go, telling Sherlock how he feels about him, he’s still so restrained, still holding back. It’s visible in his thick, wet voice; his mouth, lips pressed together, his body, so stiff and taut; even the way he breathes, as if there’s this huge bubble of pain ready to burst inside of him. What he tells Sherlock at his grave is only a sentence or two out of the volumes and volumes of feelings he has for him. And aside from the times in which John told Sherlock that he was amazing or fantastic at crime scenes, as far as we can see on screen, John has rarely, if ever, told Sherlock exactly what his friendship means to him.

Yes to all of this but also I see it as one more aspect of John the caretaker. I don’t think he wants to “burden” anyone else with his emotions and his pain, he is the stoic. He wants to be the one to comfort Mrs. Hudson and protect her from pain, similar to how he is with Sherlock. I think John sees himself as the head of this little family that’s now broken and he doesn’t want to break down in front of anyone because he feels he has to be strong. He’s even still holding back at Sherlock’s grave even though Sherlock can’t see him and Mrs. Hudson can’t see him, it’s just instinct. It’s who John Watson is. Ugh. Unbearable acting from Martin.

Yes. All of this. John Watson’s identity is so very bound up in caring and serving and duty and honor and it’s right down to his core. And he can’t break down completely because someone might need him. Even in death, Sherlock might need him.

From a storytelling and acting standpoint, it’s absolutely brilliant, IMO, that we don’t see John’s tears. We see him on the verge of breaking down (the intro scene in Ella’s office, when the credits begin right before John starts to cry), or we only hear his tears (when he cries at Sherlock’s grave, seeing his reflection in the headstone). This lack of visible tears emphasizes the isolation and stoicism and pain that John is experiencing.

This fandom is the MOST masochistic fandom ever. 

(via 221bbakerstreetissherlocked)

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